[Alice pulled on her fingers and shifted from foot to foot before taking a deep breath and knocking. Don't cry, don't cry... Katsuki... Well, she's not sure Katsuki would even WANT an apology but if he DID he definitely wouldn't want her crying through it.]
K-Katsuki!
[This was much harder than the other apologies because it was her brother...
Would she even be allowed to call him that anymore?]
[The door opens after a shuffle of feet from the other side. Katsuki isn't expecting company in the slightest, he's sort of been holed up inside after everything died down, or out and about helping to repair the damage the Green Knight's bullshit pulled on Somnius proper. In fact, a part of the clinic was damaged, and he was putting most of his effort into getting the repairs done as soon as possible. Today, though...today he was just trying to step back from everything and everyone.
Though, of course, Alice seems to have other plans. He is taken aback when he sees her, surprised she would even want to. After the fact he had to hurt her, use force against her, practically shove her underwater in the lake to cure her...he assumed she would be afraid of him. It'd make sense, wouldn't it? He's not an admirable Hero like All Might or anything, he's actually very intimidating and threatening. Katsuki puts on those airs on purpose, too. To Villains, it's to scare them into submission, but to a little kid...
He opens his mouth, but no words come out, throat tight and chest sort of aching. It was the same with Uraraka, but that was the opposite sort of deal - he was enthralled and tried to kill her. Actually kill her. The guilt has been eating at him ever since. How can he face these two knowing what he nearly did? What he had to do?]
[She wants to move forward to hug him but stops. She winces at his comment, and the mantra she had been telling herself earlier crumbles immediately, tears welling up and streaming down her cheeks. Does he hate her now?
She swallows thickly around her tears and tries to find her voice. She can only shake her head. Her voice is so small when she speaks, trying desperately to stop crying but she can't.]
P-Please... [She shakes her head vehemently.] PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!
[She sobbed out, because she's just a child. She doesn't understand that it isn't her fault what she was made to do, all she can understand is that she tried to kill Katsuki, against her will, but by her hands nonetheless.]
[That actually takes Katsuki by surprise - her tears, but mostly what Alice says. He freezes up, feeling like he was just struck hard across the face by some invisible force. After a moment of standing there stupidly, he finally comes to his senses enough to walk the few steps forward and shut the door behind him, to give his housemates some peace (though that cannot be said of anyone outside, o-oops). He looks genuinely confused, perplexed, at the outburst, and it weighs heavily on him.]
Wh--...why would I hate you? Alice, I...hurt you. [His throat seems to tighten from the admission, and it gets harder to speak after that, his chest aching as flashes of memories he tried to suppress for days come back to bite him.] You're a fucking kid, and I hurt you. You have every right to...t-to hate me. I...thought--
[He thought she did. He assumed he scared her enough to never want to see him again. Sort of like with Uraraka. The guilt and shame told him so, and he believed it. Believes it still.]
[She's not sure what to do with her hands. She wants to hug Katsuki but it doesn't seem right. Instead, she can only grab and crumple up the hem of her pinafore. It's a cycle: grab, crumple, release, and grab again as she can't stop crying. She hasn't seen Katsuki since the fight, or at least, she can't recall seeing him. Her memory was a haze after the fight.]
I- I tried to kill you! I tried to... [She hiccups and her body is shaking.] I-I was made to... I felt like-like-like I wanted to kill you! And I wanted to hurt others.
I... [Her voice is lost to tears. She can't really speak further as she's overwhelmed. She just wants her brother back, but this thing... it's made a giant canyon between them and she doesn't know how to get to the other side. So, she's left with just one word she can manage to get out.] P-Please.. please... p-please!
[It was a haze probably because he took her to the clinic, where she was put under. He also was looked at, but doesn't remember much of that - just that he definitely fucking threw up from the stress and the guilt, and he might have also passed out, too. Or disassociated hard enough to just block out a whole few hours of his day completely. Gotta love those trauma responses!
He feels so stupid for not reaching out, even when Katsuki sees Alice crumple her dress again and again. He tries to move his arms, to embrace her like he should, but his fingers twitch and then nothing - almost as if he were made of stone, or afraid to even so much as touch her. I tried to kill you.]
I almost did. [The words come out and this time Katsuki feels...dizzy. He grips the frame of the door as he wobbles on his feet a bit and heat burns at the back of his eyelids, gathering at the corners of his eyes.] No one made me, but I almost fucking did. I couldn't hold back against my own damn sister!
[His fist hits the frame of the door in his anger with himself, his lack of control, and the young Hero covers his face with his other hand, turning his face away slightly as he starts to shake and cry, teeth grit together.]
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timeasmymeasure
Action; Shortly After the Green Knight
Date: 2024-07-04 03:38 am (UTC)K-Katsuki!
[This was much harder than the other apologies because it was her brother...
Would she even be allowed to call him that anymore?]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 02:22 am (UTC)Though, of course, Alice seems to have other plans. He is taken aback when he sees her, surprised she would even want to. After the fact he had to hurt her, use force against her, practically shove her underwater in the lake to cure her...he assumed she would be afraid of him. It'd make sense, wouldn't it? He's not an admirable Hero like All Might or anything, he's actually very intimidating and threatening. Katsuki puts on those airs on purpose, too. To Villains, it's to scare them into submission, but to a little kid...
He opens his mouth, but no words come out, throat tight and chest sort of aching. It was the same with Uraraka, but that was the opposite sort of deal - he was enthralled and tried to kill her. Actually kill her. The guilt has been eating at him ever since. How can he face these two knowing what he nearly did? What he had to do?]
Yeah...it's me. I didn't scare you off?
[What else can he even say?]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-07 11:34 pm (UTC)She swallows thickly around her tears and tries to find her voice. She can only shake her head. Her voice is so small when she speaks, trying desperately to stop crying but she can't.]
P-Please... [She shakes her head vehemently.] PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!
[She sobbed out, because she's just a child. She doesn't understand that it isn't her fault what she was made to do, all she can understand is that she tried to kill Katsuki, against her will, but by her hands nonetheless.]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-10 02:31 pm (UTC)Wh--...why would I hate you? Alice, I...hurt you. [His throat seems to tighten from the admission, and it gets harder to speak after that, his chest aching as flashes of memories he tried to suppress for days come back to bite him.] You're a fucking kid, and I hurt you. You have every right to...t-to hate me. I...thought--
[He thought she did. He assumed he scared her enough to never want to see him again. Sort of like with Uraraka. The guilt and shame told him so, and he believed it. Believes it still.]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-24 09:27 pm (UTC)I- I tried to kill you! I tried to... [She hiccups and her body is shaking.] I-I was made to... I felt like-like-like I wanted to kill you! And I wanted to hurt others.
I... [Her voice is lost to tears. She can't really speak further as she's overwhelmed. She just wants her brother back, but this thing... it's made a giant canyon between them and she doesn't know how to get to the other side. So, she's left with just one word she can manage to get out.] P-Please.. please... p-please!
no subject
Date: 2024-08-28 04:30 pm (UTC)He feels so stupid for not reaching out, even when Katsuki sees Alice crumple her dress again and again. He tries to move his arms, to embrace her like he should, but his fingers twitch and then nothing - almost as if he were made of stone, or afraid to even so much as touch her. I tried to kill you.]
I almost did. [The words come out and this time Katsuki feels...dizzy. He grips the frame of the door as he wobbles on his feet a bit and heat burns at the back of his eyelids, gathering at the corners of his eyes.] No one made me, but I almost fucking did. I couldn't hold back against my own damn sister!
[His fist hits the frame of the door in his anger with himself, his lack of control, and the young Hero covers his face with his other hand, turning his face away slightly as he starts to shake and cry, teeth grit together.]